Here I am on February 7th. Month 2. I don’t know how many days, I haven’t ever been able to keep track of that. There are some similiar feelings to the first 7th. I’m glad the calendar is recording that time has passed because it certainly feels like a very long time. The journey my heart has taken can’t be measured in days or months, I don’t think.
There are heart twinges. It’s the best way I can think to describe the twinges that come so many times a day. There are not always tears, but just the awareness.
*When someone mentions that their husband hasn’t read a new book and I nearly chime in that Scott hasn’t either. (Duh.)
*When “I love us” framed picture dominate my newsfeed on Facebook.
*When the word fatherless is used (that one gets tears more often)
*When someone sits at Scott’s seat at the dining room table.
*When I go on a snow machine trip he would have loved.
*When I learn to use a chainsaw and I can’t share with them.
Where are we? What’s going on on this seventh. Well, an attorney has been hired and court documents have been filed requesting a trial date to present evidence so death certificates can be issued. Witnesses will be notified by the court and then a date will be set. It’s a full-on jury trial, but the venue we’ve chosen allows witnesses to appear by phone. I’m so grateful for that.
Josh and Sam are chipping away at schoolwork as they are able. I will say that mental stamina is not something any of us possess right now. I keep praying for them as they tackle each assignment. Josh is working 30-35 hours a week for Lake Clark Air in their hangar doing maintence and on the ground crew as needs arise.
The weather has been perfect. We finally have a real winter. The lake is frozen and I ski multiple times a week. The sun reflecting off the snow is enough to brighten my spirits. I am beyond grateful for the grace of this provision.
Tasks on my plate are sorting papers, getting my head wrapped around the finances, taxes and financial documents for college for the boys. One more of God’s provisions is a financial planner being in Port Alsworth for a few days so we can gain much needed counsel on next steps, questions to ask and how to make decisions.
This post sounds like a news report, but here it is. I am grateful for the work God is doing. He is good and faithful and sovereign and I need Him to be all those things. I always have, I just realized it more now.